Worst Movies You've Ever Seen

[Zagatto]

The Ring was a lame remake of Ringu from Japan. Hollywood doesn't seem to understand what it is that makes Japanese movies tick and tends to screw them up in the remakes.

I guess that can be said of most American remakes of foreign films.
La Femme Nikita was turned into that horrible movie Point of No Return.
Three Men and a Baby still sucked when it was made in Hollywood.
Open Your Eyes found itself downgraded to Vanilla Sky.
Swept Away was tranformed into a crappy Madonna vehicle.
The Seven Samurai became The Magnificent Seven (which was actually another good movie) which became Battle Beyond the Stars (which sucked hard) which became Bug's Life (which is lots of fun again).

The list just goes on and on. There have been a few reasonable remakes such as Birdcage, 12 Monkeys, Roxanne, and a few others but for the most part I wish Hollywood would just release translations of foreign films rather than trying to remake them.

[DARK OSAMU]

The Japanese Ring trilogy ( I've only seen the first though ) is pretty much ... an OK movie. I really don't care if I ever see the stupid American one. From all the trailers, it looks like they mixed something else from another movie...like 6th Sense into it.

[puzzleguy]

Some terrible pieces of Crap I own are :

The Beach
Eyes wide shut
the panic Room
Wild wild West
My favorite martian
the mummy-part two

and too many other assorted camel droppings of movies !

Puzzleguy

[Batz Kage]

Well, I don't watch many movies, and almost all of them I find great fault in, or am just bias & hate them anyways.

To be vague, I hate all "stoner" movies. This includes stupid sh!t such as Jay & Silent Bob, & Dude Where's My Car (which I've seen atleast 25 times thanks to me sister.) A long with this section, I include all movies everyone in school likes. If they like them, chances are they suck (ex: Scary Movie 1 & 2). This "rule" goes double for all movies my friend Lucas tell me to watch, I think he's just easily amused.

Dare Devil, hmmm, just watched most of it today, & just like I thought, it sucked. To predictible, & not creative enough.

Lord of The Rings- Two Towers- Good content, bad delivery, I'd rather rip my own tooth out then have to sit through it again. There was just something about it that is boring as H3ll.

I saw The 9th Gate listed above, & if that's the movie I believe it is (the one where the guy tries to collect the pictures drawn by Satan) I love that movie. It fell short of what it could have been, but was still great.

Also to defend 13 Ghost, gay movie, yes, but it seemed a bit more origanal than most horror movies out at that time, either that or I just like watching topless dead chicks walk around (ok technically there was only one).

And as for The Ring, I though it was a good movie, but I've yet to make the connect between the Manga (not sure which part) & the american movie. Because there's like the English movie, the Japanese movie, a novel, & two or three mangas. In the one I read the thing killing people was a virus, & it took over the a baby inside some woman, & slept with the guy that was trying to figure it all out, then in the end they found out just reading the novel about the book would contaminate you, & that the being that was born from the woman was part of a group that was going to publish the report of what happens in the movie as a novel & like take over the world or something. It doesn't make the movie to much better besides telling more of where the video tape in the movie came from, but it gives you more interest in things about the entire thingy itself.

The only good "movies" I can really say I liked right off hand was Dune (the remake) & Children of Dune. Which technically they were mini series, and Dune was boring as hell at most points, but it gives more of an understanding of Children of Dune. Plus the entire time it gives off this depressing vibe because everyone knows the planet's future sucks, & it just seems that even the hero doesn't want to do anything about it.


As you can tell, most of the movies I have commented on are old & have a negitive "review", that's because I stay in such a depress state of that I would rather crack my skull open & smear my blood across the my wall than face humanity to see a movie, & while at home I just watch Anime on dvds. Anywho the point of that last statement is if I bashed your fav movie, try not to hate me, but if that doesn't work go ahead.

Peace

[Prophet Hero]

Originally posted by Batz Kage

Also to defend 13 Ghost, gay movie, yes, but it seemed a bit more origanal than most horror movies out at that time, either that or I just like watching topless dead chicks walk around (ok technically there was only one).

13 Ghosts is a remake of a 1960s film - it's less original than a Rolex at a Thai market stall.

[kakoi_sugoi_yama]

Originally posted by Suzakuseikun
You watched the movie because of it, right? That's the point of trailers...we did that in film class. They did it with Aliens Ressurection, too. They made trailers of things that never happened in the movie, just so people would see it.

and the thing is, I rarely go to movies because of trailers, but that trailer was so hillarious! I had to see it. It is a mistake I do not plan on making again.:mad:

[six_plus_one]

Les' see, off-the-top-o-ma'-head:
Event Horizon (Fell asleep 5 times before finishing)
The Peacemaker (Ick!)
Deep Blue Sea (I'll steer clear of this made for the USA network fiasco in future)
Crocodile Hunter Collision Course (I gave it 4 Min.)
The Road Home (or whatever, not a big Xang Yimou fan, or was it Yang Xiyi?)
Burglar (with Whoopi @ age 22, bein' all mean to Bobcat Goldthwait, tsk tsk tsk)
Cruel Intentions (Horse Feces)
Selena (What???)
Kolya (Can you say 'excrement' in Russian?)
Xi Xiao - The Shower (No no no no!)
and... The Matrix Reloaded (I don't even wanna talk about it)

Aww c'mon, Street Fighter! Raul Julia, Baby! Plus you gotta love Zangief: "You got... paid???" Ha!

oh, and Oui Oui, MK2 sucked big DonkeyBall-Z

[OptimisticOx]

Way of the gun. sorry steve but this movie just sucked

[Lonely_monkey21]

I would say that Matrix Reloaded sucked, but I didn't watch much of it either time I went to see it According to my friend it did, so I didn't want to go for a third time.

[NVash]

And here I was all ready for the new Matrix... though actually I dont think the first one was all that good to begin with. It was alright, not the best ever, thats for sure.

Thought I already stated how hard The Ring sucked.

[six_plus_one]

Nonono. You guys have it all wrong.
Here's the breakdown:

Clerks was cult great
Mallrats was good
Chasing Amy is Kevin Smith's finest work
Dogma is self-indulgent but tolerable
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is trash

Glad I set things straight here.

I have a prediction for Smith's worst film ever though: 2004's "Jersey Girl" starring ol' Benny-boy Affleck and, gasp, J-lo. Wrong.

P.S.: Another Kevin Smith produced film "Vulgar" is quite possibly one of the most disturbing films ever made. It's actually directed by Bryan Johnson (Steve-Dave), and is really quite good if you can get past the... well I won't spoil anything...

[OptimisticOx]

Originally posted by kakoi_sugoi_yama
and the thing is, I rarely go to movies because of trailers, but that trailer was so hillarious! I had to see it. It is a mistake I do not plan on making again.:mad:

yeah trailors are incredibly misleading. they just take everything out of context and string it together.

thats why I go to IMDB.com

I know some of you might find it silly that I rely on this site for movies but every movie I have seen that has a good rating on that site has not led me astray. if I am curious about a movie or a director I just search 'em up and I can get a good Idea of what to expect or what not to expect if its really bad since I wont see it at all.

for instance, if I thought the trailor was hilarious for kung-pow. I would just search it up and bam! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240468/










4.8/10 not gonna be seeing that one.



HAHA! i just searched the director of kung-pow and he also had a part in Bruce allmighty and Created the Jimmy Neutron Nickolodean series, no wonder it sucked.

[DARK OSAMU]

Chasing Amy Sucked ass! The Figment of your imagination joke is the best part. Dogma was simply brilliant!!!!!!!! Strikes back is just funny. It's a remake of Pee Wees big adventure....That's why it's called Strikes Back.

[NVash]

If its a remake, then its logical to say Pee Wees movie musta sucked.

Sad thing is, I used to own all of Kevin Smiths Jay and Silent Bob related flicks... before Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back came out. Only one I saw was Clerks. I saw some of Dogma and cut it off. Saw Mallrats on TV, bits and pieces, and decided it sucked, and Chasing Amy I never got around to watching. Then I sold all but Clerks. And just to rub it in, I got the Clerks Animated Series on DVD. Ill get them all back though... one day.

I did see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back at a friends house. It was alright. Only reason to buy it on DVD would be to continue the Jay and Silent Bob DVD collection. I saw the other flick in stores. Looked kinda disturbing, so I let it be.

Everyone knows Jersey Girl will suck. But will it oust Gigli? That is the question.

[evilomar]

Originally posted by Batz Kage

I saw The 9th Gate listed above, & if that's the movie I believe it is (the one where the guy tries to collect the pictures drawn by Satan) I love that movie. It fell short of what it could have been, but was still great.


Peace

You are right 9th gate did fall short, it was a great build-up, but that was it. And I am so fucking giddy someone added Panic Room on the list. Ahh I knew someone would add Kevin Smith's movies in here somewhere, I still enjoy them, but some people expect too much out of him, but after all he is the mastermind behind the Jersey saga and no one else could do it.