10-17-2003, 12:06 PM
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
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"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
Yep," the little boy said.. "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over, and handed the little boy a $20 ticket
for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a
reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there,sir.
Did Santa bring it to you?"
Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said,
"Next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
----------------------------------
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have
to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your
lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle
was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that
broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You
see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a
thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to
grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you
don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of
my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I
can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always
be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish,
genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been
with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep
with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know
we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you
think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind,
but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the
same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the
rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was
insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over
and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you
and your husband?"
"We're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
genies?"
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
-------------------
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
Yep," the little boy said.. "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over, and handed the little boy a $20 ticket
for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a
reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there,sir.
Did Santa bring it to you?"
Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said,
"Next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
----------------------------------
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have
to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your
lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle
was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that
broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You
see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a
thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to
grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you
don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of
my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I
can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always
be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish,
genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been
with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep
with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know
we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you
think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind,
but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the
same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the
rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was
insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over
and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you
and your husband?"
"We're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
genies?"
Teabagging girls' chins since 1983.
I get pumped when watching porno.
I get pumped when watching porno.
