Unexplainable feelings

[Blight]

I saw a girl I knew in high school the other day. She has gained, must be sixty lbs since I saw her last. When our eyes met, it was like all that could have been with us flashed through our own eyes, and reflected into the eyes of the other.

The story is, well, I think she is the only girl that I have ever, truly loved, but she was a very, very close friend, so I never made a formal move because I was afraid of screwing up the relationship we already had. We had been friends since kindergarten, a long, long time. She knew how I really felt about her, but pretended not too. Too much weirdness I guess.

Toward the end of high school, she started dating this prick from the marines. I hated the mother*&%@#, but didn?t really make a fuss about it, until one night at a party, he showed up and started yelling at her for being there with her friends. My friends had to hold me back from ripping his throat out for humiliating her and making her cry. I had, and still have, a feeling that he is an abusive lover, either mentally, physically, or both.

The fun began after we gradated. I didn?t here from her for a while and then, I see in the paper the got married! I was sooo mad. She didn?t invite me, and went to great lengths to hide it from me (told my friends not to say anything, cause they went!) I was mad, confused and hurt. A few weeks later, my friends were at a gas station and she pulled up. She started to walk over to talk to us and I turned and walked off. My friend Tim said hey she wants to talk, but I said really awful things and speed off.

I made her cry.

When we saw each other, it was like two people who had never met. My hair and dress totally different from HS, she was almost unrecognizable from all the weight gain. I didn?t know what to say, so I just said ?why?. She hung her head and said ?sorry.? I held back tears and said I was sorry for that night, with no control over my voice. Then her mom called at her from outside the grocery store, and she said she had to go.

I watched her walk away, thinking about all the things that had gone wrong. Feeling so many things. Anger for her deceit, sadness from missing a friend, hurt from the way she threw me away, pity for her life now, and a constant image of the things that could have gone differently, maybe if I had spoken up sooner. If I had truly made my feelings clear. I watched her walk out of that store that day, and I hope I never see her again. I don?t like crying in public.