crappy days

[Andromeda18_]

Onizuka is actually onto something here. I've always had the idea that for a relationship to work both people must compromise and I've realized this to be true. When it comes to every aspect of a relationship compromising is important.

If you have completely different interests don't let that keep you apart. Perhaps it's time for each of you to participate in the other one's activities. I'm not a huge fan of soccer but because my boyfriend is I try watching some games with him, keep up with soccer news and I never complain when he wants to watch a game rather than do something else with me. Watching the game will give him pleasure and we can always do whatever we were going to do some other time. In the same way he pays real attention to me when I'm talking about science or fashion and he actually tries to participate in the conversation, not to mention he goes to the gym, when he'd rather be home doing something else, just to keep me company. I know he's making a real effort. This sort of atittude is important, I think. Even if you have no interest whatsoever in the other person's interests, making an effort will show the other person you care.

Another thing that is extremely important is spending time together, afterall "out of sight, out of mind". Just be with her, even if you're doing completely different things. That's why I think going on a vacation (like Amethyst said) would be great. Leave your daughter in the care of a relative and just go away for a week or two. Just the two of you, reconnecting, I'm certain it would do wonders. I know you don't really have the money for that but it might be more effective than counselling. However, I do think you need couseling, a different sort of counselling, sexual counselling.

As far as sex is concerned the birth of a child is almost always a negative thing. Marriages are usually affected by it, particularly in the first year. And the fact that you've both been unemployed until recently doesn't help either. If you haven't been able to change this yourselves I think a professional might indeed be able to help.

I must say that it's very good that your wife is willing to part with your investments in order to pay for counselling. That shows she too wants to save her marriage. The way I see it that's good news.