crappy days

[Amethyst]

For me misfortune has arrived in the form of a wife who says she's happier without me. She says I'm a great husband and a great father it's just that she enjoys life more when I'm not around. The good news is that she's willing to go to marriage counselling with me to work things out. The bad news is that marriage counselling costs a freakin arm and a leg.

To save my marriage I've decided to sell my anime collection. I'm not sure if selling via eBay is the best thing or what to do. I kind of want to keep things with the people here in the forum and make sure that people get some of the high demand items I have. At the same time I want to make sure I get as much as I can for my discs because I'm sure that fixing our relationship will take more than one session with a counsellor.

Best case scenario has us fixing things up and everybody a happy family again.
Worst case scenario has me trying to find funds for a lawyer to handle a divorce.

I'm still away from home at the moment (I've been stuck in a hotel for the past 2 and a half weeks) and I wont get home till Thursday so I wont be starting to part with my collection till then. Any advice from folks will be appreciated.

Sitting here in hotel by myself sucks HARD.
I don't think I've ever felt this alone before.

Well I debated on whether to offer any counsel or just keep my mouth shut... as you can see, I'm not keeping my mouth shut... laugh... I hope this helps...

For some background, I do have some expertise in the matter, I've managed to stay married now for 29 years coming up in December... so I guess that qualifies me for something about relationships...

Just an observation, you mentioned you were away from home and had been for 2 1/2 weeks, are you frequently away from home for work or whatever? If so, that is a large part of the problem... Just go back and read what you said your wife told you, she is happier without you home... meaning she has learned to accept you being gone most of the time and so it wouldn't matter one way or the other if you were just gone all the time... because... and here again, this is only from observation as to what has been said, you supposedly have an open marriage, which means you get to have sex with whomever you're lucky enough to find on your time away from home, (now this is what I'd be thinking even if in reality you weren't in an open marriage) but I'm guessing, she's not having affairs while you're gone, so she's thinking you're getting all this fun while she's stuck at home again all alone... and then you come home and aren't interested in sex, she's thinking you're not attracted to her anymore because you've got all these others... (yeah, I know, that's probably far from the truth, but it is real easy to fall into that mind set when your significant other is away from you for long periods of time, and even if you say you haven't, that nagging little doubt in the back of your mind says but what if, cause he sure as heck isn't interested in me anymore?)

Another thought on the being gone all the time, maybe she is feeling overwhelmed because she always has to take care of the kids because you just aren't home to do any of it... add some stress over money/bills and that compounds the problem tenfold....or add a sick kid to deal with... well, you get the point.

I think the best solution would be to sit down and talk to one another, and be completely honest.... (this is what a counselor is going to do, referree your sessions and charge you a ton for it, you'd be better off spending the money on a vacation!) and to set up some alone time for the both of you, and maybe discuss some free time for her to just take off and enjoy herself while you handle all the things at home, including the kids... which is probably the root of the problem.

As for your anime collection... if it is something you enjoy, I wouldn't sell it... now I might go thru and trim it down a bit if you absolutely have to, but look at it this way, if counseling, talking, whatever doesn't help (and I really think spending more time with your wife is the answer) you're going to be out all of your anime, out all of the money, out your family and still very unhappy. At least you could enjoy your anime... laugh...

Ok, enough rambling... I hope I may have shed some light on what might be happening... and I really hate to see this occuring to you... I do hope you can work it out between you... which I think if you just do the talking thing, it will do the most good.