Theory...

[Blight]

I'll agree with that. Most of the death that I've dealt with has been of older realatives. So while it wasn't exactly expected, it wasn't a shock either, and did not really bothered me. But then we're not the closest family. I had one friend die, and that came with a decent amount of shock and all that good stuff. Haven't really cried over any of them though. It's rare that I can get more than a single tear, usually it looks like I just yawned, if that. Everyone around me can be bawling, but not me. Straight emotionless face all the way. I ended up breaking up with a girl because I stopped caring about everything for a while after the friends death. But you couldn't tell by looking.

I usually don?t cry either. The only time I really lost it was when my uncle died. I was sitting in the chapel and everyone kept pestering me to go up to the coffin and I just couldn?t. If I saw him lying there I would have to accept something that I could not believe. When they forcibly dragged my ass up there, I shattered like a brittle mirror and was over come by the reality of its shards which made me shed tears equal in number. My mind didn?t work right for weeks, and the lasting effects of his death are far more powerful than any other in my life. I admit there are still times like it seems he?s not really gone and when I think about him I have to swallow to get that damn lump out of my throat.