11-20-2004, 10:32 PM
hello everyone my names Michele... and im 20 (well turning 21 soon)
im new to import DVD's only just found out about them like a month ago. this site is very nice and i think its the best place on the net for imports ive found so far. i hope i will be welcomed into the forum ^_^
well ive just been joining forums all day today. i dont know why its just that i need to make more friends as i have so little of them in real life. so trying to make net buddies
the only true friend i ever had ive lost. me and her had a huge argument, it was my fault i got paranoid and just ended up arguing then saying its over. she tried to make friends again but i was in a cold bitter mind frame then and just shuned her away. now i dont even know what she is up to. its one of my biggest ever regrets. i dont really make friends easily but am a social person when i get then chane. its just that ive been bullied all my life.well not all but its scared me and i dont like approaching people. but am trying more nowaday its just so hard to find friends coz i feel so alienated and have no mney and stuff like that to go out with
anyway the main thing thats been eating me up inside lately and i have no friends to vent or talk to is LOVE!
i met this boy and he seemed really cool, and i found him attractive straight away, but i just hid my feelings, well as much as i could, you see im not very attractive, and thats true especially compared to him. he is such a hottie
but girls hit on him all the time 
the thing is though we happened to bump into each other (or should i say thats what he thinks -hahaha) and got talkin and we hung out, he really like the fact that i wasnt just sfter him for his looks. i cant pin it theres something to him which draws me. i really like him. actually i think im in love with him. anyway so after a while i found out he was leaving town because of his dad jobs transfer (but only to the next town), but still i felt really dodgy and i gave him my prize possession a pikachu wrist band thing that i addored, and he was really happy to accept it, then the next day we said we'll hang out for a while and so we did. its was such a cool time then he was in town he had bought me a nice pikachu figurine
then he went out with his friends and before he did he left me a note saying that he likes me WOW i was soo happy ontop of the world even for a day or so, then latter when he came back from his friends he came to talk to me, at first i made out like i still had to read the note but then quickly caved in and told him..yeah i like you back ^_^
then we just held each other and talked and he went the next day we hung out for a while but his freinds had joined in and it amde me feel so uncomfortable coz one of his friends is a girl who just couldnt stop clingin onto him. we werent public then you see so i just stayed quite but it kinda annoyed me
then after a while we got some time to ourselves and we just talked..i told him that ive never been out with anyone (which i fell abit guilty for coz when i was alot younnger like 14yrold i did for 3 weeks but then i dumped that guy) and he was drunk and spilled about his grilfreinds well 3 of them though he had a total of around 6, he told me how he went oout with a girl who was drop dead gorgeous but treated himelike shit and stuff, it really affected me as in how someone coould treat him like that. hes such a nice "abit dopey at times" guy. he asked if i was a virgin to which i said yes but i have kissed someone before but only one person and he just beliebed me instantly. he said he lost his around 2 years back but doesnt have sex since then...im still unsure weather he is lying because he told me he doesnt actualy like sex???i thought all guys like sex and thats all they want from what i hear and see. anyway moving on. he then got drunk and collapsed asleep
the next day he was about to leave for a Madrid (his dad got transfered again) without saying goodbye but luckily i managed to see him and we hugged..it really hurt that he tried to cut and run like that but after a coouple of email and thing he exxplains how he'd rather runaway from things then deal with them sometimes coz it would just hurt to much. he on the night before he left just said let rember the good times and we might meet agian. but now we have been emailing back and fro and he told me a while ago that he really liked me and think i may be the one..i felt exactly the same way...he is the one may be not now but in the long run im meant to end up with him... so after a while he managed to come back to visit me and his friends when he did.. though we wrote all these things in out emails of how we felt and missed one another it was akward but after a while we got back on the path though it wasnt the same we had our tiff. you see i started to tell him about all the things i like and disliked and about stuff and the college i had started to go to. and i ended up smoothering him and he kept quite about it then built up some anamosity against me which eventually came out and then i closed up on him snd my guard went up then it went back down but like on the day before he was leaving back for madrid
now hes emailed me saying dont worry about stuff and being sorry we were just getting to know each other better but it still haunts me on how i acted..but to be honest he was to blame aswell but i just feel llike its all my fault but now its subsided! he says he misses me and stuff but never said he loves me just misses me and a general love from... in a way i know he will probably never love me and it hurts but im OK with that... the thing is that i know all theses girls hit on him...i dont blame them he is so nice..but it makes me feel like what does he see in me...when im around him i feel secure and insecure in the sense i dont know what he see in me..is it just my personality..i dont know because all his ex's have been gorgeous but im average proabaly and abit chuby...is he just settling for me. i dotn know ...im sacred that he will leave me for a better lookin or something girl...we are not officially together aswell..we just know we care for each other...i mean ive not even kissed him yet but i feel sooo strongly for himm he enver leaves my mind...but i know that he doesnt feel as strongly as i do for him ..he probly never really misses me much and just says it and now i wanna go to madrid to see him
but i dont know where we stand...are we and item.im not goodlookin what does he see in me he can have anyone hes has that luxiury.i feel so insecure and my minds goin low and staright down on a spiral...all i know is that i love him but he'll probly never love me..though he says he will come vist me agin in a coupka months and that i should go round in the summer...i feel so depressed at times because of the distance and thing and i dont know im goin crazy at times and just had to vent and get help from other
i really feel that he is the one and he said the same about me...but he dleted that email because he gave me his email password an age ago,and i know i shouldnt be lookin but i cnt help it i look at his inbox sometiimes and read some of the emails that he gets from his ex's that he is still frinds with and they are always full of i regert leaving you or i love you's and that just hurst more. But ive lied to him saying he is my first relationship and invade his privacy i feel so bad for it bt sometimes the insecurity and curiuosity get to me. i cant be,ive it myself and felt like confessing to him but scared of the reaction so goin to keep it to myself.
wow ive written alot
thank you for letting me vent i had to realise it in asmuch a public places (forums and webistes ) as possible beacuse it really makes me feel better. sorry if i bored you or annoyed you ,i hope i can make some good friends on this forum
im new to import DVD's only just found out about them like a month ago. this site is very nice and i think its the best place on the net for imports ive found so far. i hope i will be welcomed into the forum ^_^
well ive just been joining forums all day today. i dont know why its just that i need to make more friends as i have so little of them in real life. so trying to make net buddies
the only true friend i ever had ive lost. me and her had a huge argument, it was my fault i got paranoid and just ended up arguing then saying its over. she tried to make friends again but i was in a cold bitter mind frame then and just shuned her away. now i dont even know what she is up to. its one of my biggest ever regrets. i dont really make friends easily but am a social person when i get then chane. its just that ive been bullied all my life.well not all but its scared me and i dont like approaching people. but am trying more nowaday its just so hard to find friends coz i feel so alienated and have no mney and stuff like that to go out with
anyway the main thing thats been eating me up inside lately and i have no friends to vent or talk to is LOVE!
i met this boy and he seemed really cool, and i found him attractive straight away, but i just hid my feelings, well as much as i could, you see im not very attractive, and thats true especially compared to him. he is such a hottie
but girls hit on him all the time the thing is though we happened to bump into each other (or should i say thats what he thinks -hahaha) and got talkin and we hung out, he really like the fact that i wasnt just sfter him for his looks. i cant pin it theres something to him which draws me. i really like him. actually i think im in love with him. anyway so after a while i found out he was leaving town because of his dad jobs transfer (but only to the next town), but still i felt really dodgy and i gave him my prize possession a pikachu wrist band thing that i addored, and he was really happy to accept it, then the next day we said we'll hang out for a while and so we did. its was such a cool time then he was in town he had bought me a nice pikachu figurine
then he went out with his friends and before he did he left me a note saying that he likes me
WOW i was soo happy ontop of the world even for a day or so, then latter when he came back from his friends he came to talk to me, at first i made out like i still had to read the note but then quickly caved in and told him..yeah i like you back ^_^then we just held each other and talked and he went the next day we hung out for a while but his freinds had joined in and it amde me feel so uncomfortable coz one of his friends is a girl who just couldnt stop clingin onto him. we werent public then you see so i just stayed quite but it kinda annoyed me
then after a while we got some time to ourselves and we just talked..i told him that ive never been out with anyone (which i fell abit guilty for coz when i was alot younnger like 14yrold i did for 3 weeks but then i dumped that guy) and he was drunk and spilled about his grilfreinds well 3 of them though he had a total of around 6, he told me how he went oout with a girl who was drop dead gorgeous but treated himelike shit and stuff, it really affected me as in how someone coould treat him like that. hes such a nice "abit dopey at times" guy. he asked if i was a virgin to which i said yes but i have kissed someone before but only one person and he just beliebed me instantly. he said he lost his around 2 years back but doesnt have sex since then...im still unsure weather he is lying because he told me he doesnt actualy like sex???i thought all guys like sex and thats all they want from what i hear and see. anyway moving on. he then got drunk and collapsed asleep
the next day he was about to leave for a Madrid (his dad got transfered again) without saying goodbye but luckily i managed to see him and we hugged..it really hurt that he tried to cut and run like that but after a coouple of email and thing he exxplains how he'd rather runaway from things then deal with them sometimes coz it would just hurt to much. he on the night before he left just said let rember the good times and we might meet agian. but now we have been emailing back and fro and he told me a while ago that he really liked me and think i may be the one..i felt exactly the same way...he is the one may be not now but in the long run im meant to end up with him... so after a while he managed to come back to visit me and his friends when he did.. though we wrote all these things in out emails of how we felt and missed one another it was akward but after a while we got back on the path though it wasnt the same we had our tiff. you see i started to tell him about all the things i like and disliked and about stuff and the college i had started to go to. and i ended up smoothering him and he kept quite about it then built up some anamosity against me which eventually came out and then i closed up on him snd my guard went up then it went back down but like on the day before he was leaving back for madrid
now hes emailed me saying dont worry about stuff and being sorry we were just getting to know each other better but it still haunts me on how i acted..but to be honest he was to blame aswell but i just feel llike its all my fault but now its subsided! he says he misses me and stuff but never said he loves me just misses me and a general love from... in a way i know he will probably never love me and it hurts but im OK with that... the thing is that i know all theses girls hit on him...i dont blame them he is so nice..but it makes me feel like what does he see in me...when im around him i feel secure and insecure in the sense i dont know what he see in me..is it just my personality..i dont know because all his ex's have been gorgeous but im average proabaly and abit chuby...is he just settling for me. i dotn know ...im sacred that he will leave me for a better lookin or something girl...we are not officially together aswell..we just know we care for each other...i mean ive not even kissed him yet but i feel sooo strongly for himm he enver leaves my mind...but i know that he doesnt feel as strongly as i do for him ..he probly never really misses me much and just says it and now i wanna go to madrid to see him
but i dont know where we stand...are we and item.im not goodlookin what does he see in me he can have anyone hes has that luxiury.i feel so insecure and my minds goin low and staright down on a spiral...all i know is that i love him but he'll probly never love me..though he says he will come vist me agin in a coupka months and that i should go round in the summer...i feel so depressed at times because of the distance and thing and i dont know im goin crazy at times and just had to vent and get help from other
i really feel that he is the one and he said the same about me...but he dleted that email because he gave me his email password an age ago,and i know i shouldnt be lookin but i cnt help it i look at his inbox sometiimes and read some of the emails that he gets from his ex's that he is still frinds with and they are always full of i regert leaving you or i love you's and that just hurst more. But ive lied to him saying he is my first relationship and invade his privacy i feel so bad for it bt sometimes the insecurity and curiuosity get to me. i cant be,ive it myself and felt like confessing to him but scared of the reaction so goin to keep it to myself.
wow ive written alot
thank you for letting me vent i had to realise it in asmuch a public places (forums and webistes ) as possible beacuse it really makes me feel better. sorry if i bored you or annoyed you ,i hope i can make some good friends on this forum