I need some advice..can anyone help me??
#18
Rofl, yeah, that's high school drama =) (loll steve + buckets)

You should have a Xanga site Insane, those are good for this type of thing, and your entries are interesting enough that I'd read it. Check it out ^^

Anyway,

ICH, you seem like a really bright girl, and whether you like it or not you are caught up in a screwed mess of confused emotions. However, you might be really liking it... There's a reason why high school drama exists, and that's because some peeps dig it. However, if find yourself exasperated by the stupidity of it all, you are probably a lot more mature than everyone you are dealing with.

This situation makes more and more sense the more I read. Let me tell you something about most high school guys, they're messed up. Most high school girls are too, but that's another story ^_^. Your friend is very likely simply enthralled with the idea of being in love. He likes people doting on him. You see, at that age, the guys aren't looking for a girl to love, they are looking for girls to love them, and more than half of this is tied up with status. It's why in high school you get terms like "he's going out with" or "going steady," (gah, that's so out of style, but it works) they're solid symbolisms of this status mark. Going steady is like a medal, it's the going steady medal. Once you've got it, it's hard to go back.

Anyway, I'm way of track, time to get back to your friend. He likes having a girlfriend, and likes having girls like him. Who the girls are is important but secondary. He might like you better than his current girlfriend, but you aren't a surefire bet yet, and he's not going to toss the affection fix he's got on a gamble. When he saw you with your ex, it also became apparent to him that you are not desperate for him and he has no mode of control over you. Of course, he wants control. But he's stupidly trying to excersize control he doesn't have and is not very good at diplomatic manipulation either.

His lie (yes, he made it up) about hearing from someone from someone from someone that you wanted to fight over him is his not-so-direct yet blunt way of testing that control. He tells you he likes you, and then fabricates a story that is basically telling you that you like him. He's trying to put the whole situation neatly under his thumb, and if you were to follow him now, he'd expect that he can control you in the relationship as well, which would suck, so don't.

I'll just cut to the chase, your friend wants a girl falling all over him, and he'd like you to be that girl, but the chance of you being that girl isn't enough for him to risk what he's got. So he's just going to be dumb and sit on the fence stringing you both along with sweet talk until he feels safe or until you both hate him (yet another high school guy crashes and burns.) Heh, hell, I crashed and burned too. Anyway, you might not be the mature one, but I believe you are, either way you are brave and smart, so I'm going to tell you how to cut through the bullshit should you so choose. You have to be independent and just take the reigns.

First thing is first, decide whether or not you really like him. If you don't, tell him. Otherwise, tell him to flat out choose between you or his girlfriend. Give him a day to decide. Tell him you would like to be with him, but won't be hurt if he doesn't choose you (you're mature right? you can take the shot :wink: .) Once he is forced to choose you will really see what he's all about. Offer to talk to him about it if he looks like he could use it, but keep your sympathy to a minimum, because he'll see that as a tool to keep both of you on the line. When you know the truth, you should be able to handle yourself from there.

Whereever you go and whatever you do, always seek the true path and refuse to play the game. High school and the start of college are a rough time, and you'll be jerked around a lot. But if you keep seeing through the illusions and pursuing what is underneath it all, you will gain deep meaningful relationships and respect through your strength among all you know, including your friend.
o-('-')-o HuG
|)0Y: 1337 5p34k 4n0nyM0u5


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I need some advice..can anyone help me?? - by Vance - 05-26-2003, 06:09 PM

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