03-12-2003, 02:33 PM
An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff members. He had narrowed it down to one of two peopl, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the watercooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
---------------------
One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."
So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn`t for me. Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can`t seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn`t for me either."
Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"
He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."
-------------------
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
---------------------
One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."
So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn`t for me. Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can`t seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn`t for me either."
Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"
He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."
-------------------