Dating tips for our friend, Batz !!

[Atomic Orgasm]

here are some tips in helping you get a girlfriend.

1. Take a shower, since you are an smelly otaku, make sure you take one at least once a day.
2. Change your underwear at least once a day-girls do not like stinky crotches nor do they like skid marks.
3. Match your clothes-you want girls to know that you can dress yourself and not have your mom help you.
4. Wash your laundry-you don't want to have a hamburger helper stain on your belly when you go out.
5. Get a tan-you want girls to think that you actually do stuff outside of the house instead of wanking off to your favorite hentai. Plus, the pasty vampire look isn't really "in" these days.
6. Hygiene-brush your damn teeth, you don't want your teeth a yellow color. Girls pay a lot of attention to teeth and you seriously don't want a girl shying away from you because of bad breath.

ok, if you guys have any more tips or input please feel free to help out poor Batz get laid.

[kakomu]

You know, the basics:

1) Don't explain the inner workings of the Eva Universe to people who don't give a rat's ass
2) Flush after every use
3) Hair in a uniform manner is a big plus (Even though your hair is probably normally Besheveled, don't try passing it off as the Mle model besheveled look. That actually takes lots of effort, hair spray and gel)
4) Cut your Toe and Finger Nails

ADVANCED!
1) Stare at her face
2) Try not to say "uhhhhhhhh" or "uh-hyuk"
3) Clean your face on a regular basis (crater Pizza face is NOT in)
4) A little thing I call Floss!

[Lonely_monkey21]

I think you guys pretty much covered all i wanted to say, but since I won't be at school next year to keep him in line i hope he'll get a tan.(or more of just the back of his neck and arms) But speaking of showers.... I think thats where I'm headed now, but i could be wrong.Oh wait, the one tip i do have for you out of experience being around you. SHAVE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Batz Kage]

here are some tips in helping you get a girlfriend.

1. Take a shower, since you are an smelly otaku, make sure you take one at least once a day.

I don't know why I don't, but normally I do, the longest I go without a shower is about 3 days, & that's because some of my days are littery get up at 5 in the afternoon, eat supper at 6 & go back to sleep.

2. Change your underwear at least once a day-girls do not like stinky crotches nor do they like skid marks.

When I get a bath, & don't change my clothes, I atleast change my undies.

3. Match your clothes-you want girls to know that you can dress yourself and not have your mom help you.

I never match my clothes, I don't like to, & need it to be conforming. But then again with all my shorts being tan, & my shirts red, black, or ash there's not much to match.

4. Wash your laundry-you don't want to have a hamburger helper stain on your belly when you go out.

My parents wash the junk, I'm only 15 so I never felt I had to considering I would get yelled at for throing there big process outta whack.

5. Get a tan-you want girls to think that you actually do stuff outside of the house instead of wanking off to your favorite hentai. Plus, the pasty vampire look isn't really "in" these days.

I have a slight tan, but the n light makes me feel sick most of the time.

6. Hygiene-brush your damn teeth, you don't want your teeth a yellow color. Girls pay a lot of attention to teeth and you seriously don't want a girl shying away from you because of bad breath.

Now that's another one up there with bathing, when I wake up at 6 & go back to sleep right after supper, normally I don't rush my teeth till the next morning. And I ALWAYS have bad breath, you can ask Lonely Monkey, that why I never wanted to get all up in her face, & half the time Ididn't want her to sit next to me.

And as for the bathing & smelling good, I get a bath, brush my teeth, & change my clothes everytime before leaving the house.


So basicly I'm going to go through all these suggestions, & show how stupid I am.

[Batz Kage]

You know, the basics:

1) Don't explain the inner workings of the Eva Universe to people who don't give a rat's ass

If I actually knew the inner workings I can't help it, that's the way I am, & the way I turned a local prep into a nerd. These days people tell me to shut up, & it actually works, used to I didn't know when to stop.

2) Flush after every use

I do, I think, hopefully :S

3) Hair in a uniform manner is a big plus (Even though your hair is probably normally Besheveled, don't try passing it off as the Mle model besheveled look. That actually takes lots of effort, hair spray and gel)

When my hair is longer than half an inch (normally about 3-4 inches) I use gel to make myself look like the wolfman, no one likes it but me, but then again I don't care about hair. So what if it's the first thing people notice, but you should never judge a book by its cover.

4) Cut your Toe and Finger Nails

I bite my nails, but that doesn't really matter seeing as how they like to peel off, which another reason I used to paint them (black) it kept them strong.


ADVANCED!
1) Stare at her face

I know, eye contact & all.

2) Try not to say "uhhhhhhhh" or "uh-hyuk"

I ramble on, & mubble A LOT! Can't help the rambling, but the mubbling is more of to show confusion, or when I'm trying to say "I Love You", sorry, that's something that doesn't just fall off my tounge, I've only told one girl that, & it didn't turn out to well.

3) Clean your face on a regular basis (crater Pizza face is NOT in)

I wash my face off almost everytime I got to the bathroom, but I doubt it culd help my looks :S.

4) A little thing I call Floss!

I'm an irresponsible person, & therefore don't know how to use it, so I get bad bleeding gums, if it's really not intentional..




Lonely Monkey, as for shaving, I do, but I like my wolfman hair. My dad always wants me to shave because he says it makes me look younger.

[Batz Kage]

Sorry to post three in a row, but:

Who ever said I was after girls? Does no one notice I talk about guys A LOT!

Eh, truth betold, I'm for the most part happy to be single. I had one chance at along distance relationship, but passed it up so that the girl would finally get someone in her town, that's like the only chance fora girl I actually had, unless you count back in kindergarden, when I had two "girlfriends" at once. But I don't count them.

I'm to weird to be held down by just anyone, & I don't change myself for most people. I'm mostly happy with the way I am, & don't care to change it, so if they (notice I don't say it'sa she, or a he) can't deal wih it, then that's not my problem. (I actually do change, it's just not real noticable)

Yeah, I aim to be the unattractive nice guy/weirdo of mystery. Sure, it hasn't worked yet, but I'm not old enough to put all my skills into good use (example: cooking). Plus, I don't believe in short term relationships, in other words, I'm actually trying to screw myself over so that I stay single forever.
But, tat won't work because I plan on being rich , and Loely Monkey is bound to still be out searching for implants, so I'm sure she use me for my money

[Lonely_monkey21]

I get the feeling your gonna end up one of those rich old guys who marry the young pretty type. And then you'll die, and everyone will fight over your money. I think that she'll end up killing you though.

[johnkillingsworth]

How much can a 15 year old need to shave anyway. Batz, just enjoy your youth. You've got a lot of mistakes yet to make and the sooner you start the sooner you'll learn from them.

There's never a good excuse for bad oral hygiene

[sanosuke]

batz you may think "im perfectly happy being single" but you cant knock it till you try it dude, for example loads of people "dont like anime" because they are "cartoons" and quite simply these people have never really watched it. basically im tryin tell you that yes! being in a relationship can and usually is fun, and your first one should be great, it usually is. but john is definately right, enjoy your youth, i am. oh and another piece of advice dont talk about anime, manga, comics or any sci-fi related stuff around girls cause they just dont get it, unless they are into anime (which is unlikely as i have been searching for a hot chick that likes anime for the past few years now). well unless you wanna go out with a fat smelly otaku chick , btw im dont wish to offend any women on the forums here, im not talking about every female anime fan in the world, im just making a generalisation. and one other tip try not to get random erections, it could prove to be quite embrassing

[Batz Kage]

As for how much do I need to shave I have to shave every 4-6 days or so.


And as for relationships, yeah I know what I'm missing out on, & due to the fact I like to have a lot of alone time, don't get me wrong time with others is more enjoible, but some times I have to get my head stright. Plus, I have low selfesteam, & a lot of problems that no one needs to be burdened with.

[Ka-Talliya]

BATZ , don't ever change for anyone. Minor hygene problems need to change, but not the core of who you are.

And above all else NEVER forget "All females are EVIL!!" :eek:
Now, don't take that the wrong way. Females can be an evil force against you or for you. It all depends on how you treat them.
Personally, I take pride in the fact that I am tactfully evil.

[Batz Kage]

Trust me, I know they're e-val (sorry I like saying it that way), I used to hang out with Lonely Monkey, & as if you couldn't tell from my other post she is the most evil one I know. She trashed my life, then said she was sorry, & I forgave her, I can't stay mad at people for long, well I can, but it requires a lot of anger, rage, & will to kill. Seeing as how this is, few people get on my hated list, & few people stay on it.

[Steve_the_Talking_Pie]

The ladies I've talked to said they like the longer hair. I keep the Amish beard going because it fits. Casual dress works well. The only real advice I can give is stop trying. Don't put "the mack on". It makes you look extremely corny. I've found out the less I try, the better I've done. Impressing women with false hoods is not the way to go. But definitely keep up the showering, and killing of halitosis.

[Batz Kage]

If all wemenare as difficult to work with as Lonely Monkey, then I'm gong to become GAY. Then I'll blame it all on her.

[Steve_the_Talking_Pie]

Then have a good time fun boy.