A question of offensiveness

[Andromeda18_]

On Homosexuality

Shikibu had a view:"Regarding homosexuality, young samurais might experience an error that will cause life-long shame. You are in danger if you lack proper understanding. Few people are in a position to talk and advise about the subject. Samurais have to bear the following in mind: a good 'wife' never meets a second 'husband'. The object of your love is one for life. Otherwise, you are the same as a prostitute. Too shameful for a samurai.
"It is truly said by Saikako Ihara (a writer) that 'A samurai without a companion is like a girl without a fiance.' People will ridicule such samurai.
"After five years or so of intimacy, you will discover the ultimate conscience of your supposed companion; and then you can ask him to elevate the relationship.
"Inconstant samurais will not take root and will probably desert you in a short time. When you choose a guardian, you must prudently verify the root of his nature. Remember, you must be willing to throw away your lives for each other. If another should court you, shake him of with ' You stand in my way.' If he insists and asks, 'Who is the impediment?' answer him with ' I will never tell you as long as I live.' And if he persists, cut him down.
"As said before, you had better look into the motive of the younger companion. Five years' whole-hearted devotion to him will win him over. But at all events, never have two strings to your bow. At the same time, be assiduous in the practice of military arts while thus engaged. Thus your conduct will be consistent with Bushido."

Taken from BUSHIDO: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI, the first English translation of the Hagakure.

Homosexuality was indeed as common once as heterosexuality is today. In fact, there were times when sex was viewed as the natural thing that it is and people engaged in its practice freely. In Europe, it was the Catholic Church that destroyed that freedom and understanding of sex and turned it into a taboo. The Church was so obsessed with stopping people from having sex (I know, how did they expect people to procreate?!), that in the 12th century marriage was formally defined as a sacrament, just so they could dictate people couldn't have sex outside the marriage and that people could only have sex to procreate (by doing so they were limiting the practice of sex). The Church did many other things (I couldn't believe my ears when I learned of them) to keep sex under control and while some didn't work quite as well as they expected, sex did end up becoming a taboo. We might think we're very open minded about sex nowadays but this is nothing compared to the take older societies had on sex.

I agree with you that this whole masculinity thing is a cultural matter and like you I too think it's bullshit. That's exactly why I said 'many hetero men see it as a threat to their masculinity' and then rolled my eyes. I don't think this notion of masculinity is homophobic in nature because it adresses much more than just homosexuality, but it does end up being homophobic as far as homosexuality is concerned. I still don't think someone like Blight can be called homophobic (as he was) because of this. If the notion of masculinity, with all of it's ups and downs, was programmed into him since a young age, it's already an achievement that unlike many (and there are many indeed) he was able to rise above that upbringing and form an opinion that goes against it. The girl he mentioned called him a homophobic, but to be homophobic is to be prejudiced against homosexual people and if, as he says, he isn't prejudiced against homosexuals then he isn't homophobic and shouldn't be called a homophobic. Yes he might feel disgust when he sees two men kissing, and yes it might be rooted in the notion of masculinity he was brought up with which in its turn is in a way homophobic, but it doesn't make him a homophobic.
But now I ask you, do you think it's homophobic if a man doesn't feel disgust when he sees two men kissing but feels awkward?

Having said all that, can somebody please tell me what's wrong with ugly people kissing?
And by the way Gubi-gubi, I know loads of people that say they don't like a certain food and have never even tried it. My aunt says she doesn't like rabbit but has never in her life eaten rabbit. When I was younger I used to say I didn't like this very typical portuguese dish of chicken and rice with chicken blood (I know, it sounds awful) but then I tasted it and it's actually pretty good. Actually, the first time I tasted it it wasn't really chicken and rice with chicken blood it was lamprey and rice with lamprey blood, but one thing led to the other. Anyway, what I mean to say is that people can dislike something based on no experience whatsoever. We humans can be irrational like that.
Oh, and I must also add that there are many people who are homophobic towards lesbiand as well, not just towards gays. The weirdest thing is that most of them are men and men that would like to have sex with two women and watch them getting it on with each other. Go figure!