10-03-2006, 02:23 AM
Not to confuse matters more, but I'm a little confused. It seems the whole argument stemmed from a scene in a movie ... correct? I'm not sure how you get from that to "If gay people can't and shouldn't have to control their feelings, why are the feelings I have about just the sex issue." I've known and know some gays, and with one exception, you'd never in a million years know these guys were gay just by meeting them. Talk about controlling their feelings ... !
I don't think your reaction to explicit gay shows of affection are unusual, tho. Other, hetero guy friends of mine have a similar aversion to seeing guys kiss in a film. It's like squirm time. Myself, I think it's a threat to their vision of masculinity. They think it's a threat to their stomach's fortitude ... I don't argue with them about it because there's no point to it. It's not political or moral in nature, and doesn't mean they're nasty to gays; it's a visceral reaction to something they see on a screen. If they saw two guys kissing on a street corner, they'd just walk away.
I don't know why most chicks don't seem to have this problem. I don't personally know any woman who gets grossed out by chicks kissing, except (with some women) when it's solely as a way to "porn it" for male viewers. I think Amethyst has something about the way women are brought up ... But I also think many women simply do not feel threatened by lesbians because, well, we live in a world where it's mainly men who commit violence against women, not other women, including lesbians ... I mean, in terms of threat, we got bigger things to think about. Maybe that need to, say, be on super alert in situations that men don't think too much about (and having men often "rake you over" when you just walk into a room or whatever, which can feel awful) builds a high tolerance for the fluff of women kissing ... or men kissing. It's just no big deal. Give me two chicks (or two guys) kissing at a bar any day over two guys sitting there leering at me. Yuck.
I don't think your reaction to explicit gay shows of affection are unusual, tho. Other, hetero guy friends of mine have a similar aversion to seeing guys kiss in a film. It's like squirm time. Myself, I think it's a threat to their vision of masculinity. They think it's a threat to their stomach's fortitude ... I don't argue with them about it because there's no point to it. It's not political or moral in nature, and doesn't mean they're nasty to gays; it's a visceral reaction to something they see on a screen. If they saw two guys kissing on a street corner, they'd just walk away.
I don't know why most chicks don't seem to have this problem. I don't personally know any woman who gets grossed out by chicks kissing, except (with some women) when it's solely as a way to "porn it" for male viewers. I think Amethyst has something about the way women are brought up ... But I also think many women simply do not feel threatened by lesbians because, well, we live in a world where it's mainly men who commit violence against women, not other women, including lesbians ... I mean, in terms of threat, we got bigger things to think about. Maybe that need to, say, be on super alert in situations that men don't think too much about (and having men often "rake you over" when you just walk into a room or whatever, which can feel awful) builds a high tolerance for the fluff of women kissing ... or men kissing. It's just no big deal. Give me two chicks (or two guys) kissing at a bar any day over two guys sitting there leering at me. Yuck.