11-10-2003, 01:03 PM
Where is the most advanced seat in the universe?
The most technologically-advanced seat in the universe does not belong the commander of the USS Enterprise. Jean Luc Piccard controls the fate of planets, all by shouting out orders to a bunch of subordinates. But it is not the most advanced seat in the world. Ironically, it is almost certainly the Japanese toilets. You see, most toilets have about 10-20 buttons on them to control all sorts of things. The fanciest has numerous functions; functions that will make a small nuclear plant to shame. For example:
- Autoraise lid triggered by you walking into the room.
- Autoraise seat ditto.
- Autolower of seat, triggered by you turning around
- Seat temperature control
Set digitally in centigrade, anywhere from 20 to 50 degrees,
plus usually a "High" and "Low" button for heating/cooling
it to the correct temperature quickly or slowly... (2 buttons)
- Built-in Bidet, with buttons that allow you to control...
spray location (L-R), spray location (front-back), spray
intensity, spray temperature... oh, and a button to activate
this feature, of course... (9 buttons)
- Built-in "Shower" with buttons that let you control the
same stuff as the "Bidet" function above.. (9 buttons)
- Autolowering of lids when done, combined with an auto-flush
that checks the clarity of the water to insure that no mess
is left behind.
- Muzak Volume. I kid you not. Muzak is piped into everywhere
and anywhere. Toilet stalls included... It's enough to drive
one crazy sometimes.
- Wireless internet access point. Not sure if it is in the toilet
or in the room, but still...
And those are the features that I've figured out! Good grief...
We are still taking bets as to the lithium content in the air, but people are so happy around here it must be prozac they're pumping into all the subways. Nobody is quite sure, but whatever it is, they're all happy...
The most technologically-advanced seat in the universe does not belong the commander of the USS Enterprise. Jean Luc Piccard controls the fate of planets, all by shouting out orders to a bunch of subordinates. But it is not the most advanced seat in the world. Ironically, it is almost certainly the Japanese toilets. You see, most toilets have about 10-20 buttons on them to control all sorts of things. The fanciest has numerous functions; functions that will make a small nuclear plant to shame. For example:
- Autoraise lid triggered by you walking into the room.
- Autoraise seat ditto.
- Autolower of seat, triggered by you turning around
- Seat temperature control
Set digitally in centigrade, anywhere from 20 to 50 degrees,
plus usually a "High" and "Low" button for heating/cooling
it to the correct temperature quickly or slowly... (2 buttons)
- Built-in Bidet, with buttons that allow you to control...
spray location (L-R), spray location (front-back), spray
intensity, spray temperature... oh, and a button to activate
this feature, of course... (9 buttons)
- Built-in "Shower" with buttons that let you control the
same stuff as the "Bidet" function above.. (9 buttons)
- Autolowering of lids when done, combined with an auto-flush
that checks the clarity of the water to insure that no mess
is left behind.
- Muzak Volume. I kid you not. Muzak is piped into everywhere
and anywhere. Toilet stalls included... It's enough to drive
one crazy sometimes.
- Wireless internet access point. Not sure if it is in the toilet
or in the room, but still...
And those are the features that I've figured out! Good grief...
We are still taking bets as to the lithium content in the air, but people are so happy around here it must be prozac they're pumping into all the subways. Nobody is quite sure, but whatever it is, they're all happy...
Gullible isn't in the dictionary.