I know this is lame of me. Try not to make fun of me too much :p .
I am horrible with dates, and I have a bunch coming up
. Anyone have any suggestions as to how I can improve? Your help would be much appreciated :p .
The toughest part is to remember not to talk down about yourself while not sounding boastful. In fact, don't make any value statements about yourself at all. Focus on the girl. Find out what they like and which movies they enjoy.
A fun one is first to find a favourite star then ask what it is about them that makes them your favourite. Be prepared to answer similar questions.
And DON'T wear too much cologne. Did you ever notice how cologne rhymes with alone? A little bit is awesome but more than one or two squirts tops. Cologne is for her to smell when you get close not to knock her off her feet when she walks in the door.
And if she asks the question "what do you want to do" then have a few options to pick out. If she says she doesn't care then pick one without too much hassle. indecisiveness can suck the fun out of an evening (or afternoon... if you make it to morning then you don't need any advice).
I definitely agree with focusing on the girl. They are just as vain and egotistical as we guys. If you can hit on a topic that really gets her talking, and you can stay interested (or at least fake it), then she's bound to have a pretty good time. Then a second date should be too hard to get
Thank you guys so much for putting up with my incompetence
.
What exactly does one talk about on a date, anyway? I'm kind of prone to those nasty awkward silences :p .
Planned topics never work out the way you have thought them out. And therefore you want to avoid having them thougt out. Unless you plan talks with all your friends, then disregard.
Just ask her stuff and go from there. Once you find a common interest its easy.
Best option, however hard it is, is to just be yourself and talk how you would to anyone else. If it's too planned she will be able to tell. She wants to like you remember and not some staged lines etc. Once you get talking I am sure you will just start to flow and come out of your shell a bit.
Don't let her know that you are a hardcore Otaku LOL
cnanthavong Wrote:Don't let her know that you are a hardcore Otaku LOL
I'm still in the closet on that one
. Thanks for all the advise everyone. I suppose I'll just wing it and if it doesn't work out, whatever. That probably means it was a bad match up anyway :p .
The price of all this advice is that you come back and let us know how it went aftwards.
You dont always have to be talking, not all silence is awkward. So if you run into awkward silence you're probably trying too hard. Just make sure to ask lots of open ended questions such as; movies seen recently, music, tv shows, respond to her answers to continue the conversation. Dont waste all your ideas in a one minute flurry of questions. Also dont bring up politics or religion unless she does, those are killers on a date. Try to think of topics that you really like to find out if she does too, Kurosawa movies and NIN make for great conversation.
I know everyone says it but they all say it because its the truth just be yourself, if you try to change your behaviour just to fit the moment or what she does she will pick up on that, also if you're really nervous she will pick up on that too so just breathe deeply and be yourself.
And lastly, comb your hair, remember fresh underwear, and be home by 10 young man!!
Good luck, Godspeed, and remember there are a lot of women out there.
Zagatto Wrote:The price of all this advice is that you come back and let us know how it went aftwards.
Buggered the first, second was cancelled (the girl ended up with a bf), and the third is I believe next weekend. Off to a pretty bad start :p .
On the third I've decided just going to ignore everything my head tells me to do; I think too much
. Anyway, this was the one I was really looking forward to, so I'll let everyone know how it went. I feel so stupid asking you guys for advice like this, but thank you very much for helping :o .
This is what friends are for.
In what way did you bugger the first?
You can always learn from where you blew it. It helps to review things and look at what parts you did and didn't like about the evening.
On a semi-related note... I've been reading the web comic Questionable Content lately. There are so many similarities between the comic relationship and my real life relationship with my wife that it's hard to believe the writer wasn't stalking us. My wife agrees with the similarities... If you're interested in reading how messed up real relationships can get this strip comes highly recommended.
Zagatto Wrote:This is what friends are for.
In what way did you bugger the first?
You can always learn from where you blew it. It helps to review things and look at what parts you did and didn't like about the evening.
On a semi-related note... I've been reading the web comic Questionable Content lately. There are so many similarities between the comic relationship and my real life relationship with my wife that it's hard to believe the writer wasn't stalking us. My wife agrees with the similarities... If you're interested in reading how messed up real relationships can get this strip comes highly recommended.
I was quiet and boring; pretty much the opposite of the advice you guys gave. Eh, old habits die hard, I guess :p .
So, the goal for #3 is to replace what I would do with what you guys to me to do (still being myself, that is). We'll have to see where that leads :p .
That sounds like an interesting strip; I'm going to have to give it a look.
Third went well; scored a follow up :o .
Great news.
Does this mean that you found her more interesting than the other girls as well?